Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Cheney's Valentine's Day Poem

"Rose are red, violets are blue, say something I don't like and I'll shoot you!"

-DC-radio personality Tom Joyner on the VP's shooting mishap over the weekend

I can't wait to hear what The Capitol Steps and John Stewart have to say about this!

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone:-)

8 Comments:

At 11:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting how there wasn't a front page article about the death of the poor quail. My opinion, if you go out shooting, you deserve to be shot!

AB

 
At 12:04 PM, Anonymous Niki said...

Here's a nice collection of comedians' comments for you!!

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LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Television talk shows took aim Monday at Vice President Dick Cheney's accidental weekend shooting in Texas of a hunting companion. Here are a few of the jokes.


"Late Show with David Letterman," CBS


* "Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney."

* "But here is the sad part -- before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy's request for body armor."

* "We can't get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney."

* "The guy who got gunned down, he is a Republican lawyer and a big Republican donor and fortunately the buck shot was deflected by wads of laundered cash. So he's fine. He took a little in the wallet."


"The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," NBC


* "Although it is beautiful here in California, the weather back East has been atrocious. There was so much snow in Washington, D.C., Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fat guy thinking it was a polar bear."

* "That's the big story over the weekend. ... Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent."

* "I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?' "

* "Dick Cheney is capitalizing on this for Valentine's Day. It's the new Dick Cheney cologne. It's called Duck!"


"The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," Comedy Central


* The show's segment titles included "Cheney's Got a Gun," "No. 2 With a Bullet" and "Dead-Eye Dick."

* "Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt ... making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird."

* "Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects. ... But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about. ... Moms, dads, if you're watching right now, I can't emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don't care what kind of lucrative contracts they're trying to land, or energy regulations they're trying to get lifted -- it's just not worth it."


"Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson," CBS


* "He is a lawyer and he got shot in the face. But he's a lawyer, he can use his other face. He'll be all right."

* "You can understand why this lawyer fellow let his guard down, because if you're out hunting with a politician, you think, 'If I'm going to get it, it's going to be in the back.' "

* "The big scandal apparently is that they didn't release the news for 18 hours. I don't think that's a scandal at all. I'm quite pleased about that. Finally there's a secret the vice president's office can keep."

* "Apparently the reason they didn't release the information right away is they said we had to get the facts right. That's never stopped them in the past."

 
At 12:56 PM, Blogger Erin said...

Yes they haven't said anything about the poor quail! I wonder if Cheney even got what he was aiming at?

Don't you have to go to court if you shoot someone?

Thanks for the article, Niki! I am sure the comedians said a prayer of thanks when they read this article in the paper over the weekend.

 
At 4:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, here's the thing about going to court. Either the District Attorney can find a violation of criminal law and press charges against Chaney or the guy who got shot can sue Chaney in civil court, or there can be some sort of administrative sanction like Chaney could lose or have his hunting license suspended or he could have to pay a fine to the administrative agency. I am not sure if any of these things will actually happen though . . . it seems like no one would want to take on the VP (unless they are a democrat).

Anuradha :)

 
At 2:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you have to go to court if you shoot someone?

Here in Tennessee, it DEPENDS WHO YOU SHOOT.

God bless the Good Ole Boys.

CJS

 
At 4:01 PM, Blogger Erin said...

Maybe I've missed it, more maybe the bird flu and the olympics are just more important, but I haven't heard anything about this in the German media. I would have thought the German media would have had a field day.

 
At 8:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It would appear the German media is more grown up then the American media.
DT

 
At 9:35 AM, Blogger Erin said...

Yeah, I talked to Katie last night and she said the US media is being ridiculous about this story. There are few things I like more than political humor, but at a certain point there are other things the media could and SHOULD be focusing on!

 

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